I'm Back!

I went to my favorite secret thrift store in the desert on my way back and scored all of these ridiculous finds for no fuckin joke, $15 bucks. God bless Palm Springs thrift stores and the fabulous trannies who run them.
One of my besties is in Europe, another one of them is in Texas, my man friend is in NY and another one of my besties is heading that way on Wednesday. I plan on cooking a long belated birthday dinner and serious bro time hang with the Zog, shedding goodbye tears to Lia, getting coffee/catching up with Stacy at least once, going to Paul's B-day for at least an hour on New Years, and then spending New Years with/seeing Sascha(?)/Kate(?) at some party to rock in the 010 -perhaps Deckards? And beside that, catching up on my HuffPo and Weekly crap. When all that is done I am going to lock myself away in the office, turn off my phone and spend the next two weeks working on my novel. I'm going for 50 pages. I am going to fucking put myself on a 500 a word minimum day deadline. I've never done it before but Steve Erickson swears by it. At this point I need a miracle so anything is worth a try.











P.S! I was on Feminist Magazine on KPFK on December 9th. I have no idea how to upload a podcast onto this blog here, but if you are interested in listening to it, here's a link to the show. It was the December 9th one. The whole show is great, but if you just want to hear me yap about music and sexism and then pull a George Carlin and say the f word on live radio, then scroll to the 24 minute mark. clicka here!
psps u have to look up the show in the little scroll box. If this is a no duh, sorry, I stared at it awhile completely confused.

Happy Chrismakkuh!

Watching that makes me feel like this:

Also, hug your mom, she loves you.

On the Road

My moms favorite songs, according to my mom. Grateful Dead, Touch of Gray, Mountain Girl, Bob Dylan's, Watch Tower, Johnny Mathis, Misty, Enya, Sail Away, John Lennon, Oh Yoko, Ain't No Mountain High Enough, Marvin Gaye, Tammi Terrel .
"Mom what about Elvis?"
"Oh, I hate Elvis, you're a strange girl. Listen to some Marvin Gay, CCR, Steppnwolf. Here borrow my Simon and Garfunkel."
"I have that album."
"Well, then, listen to it."
Sammy and I drove to Arizona to see our moms.
Before I left I tried to cram in as much QT with my homies as possible. I'm going to need it. May the force be with me.



Went to the la record x-mas party and saw the soft pack. this is the only photo i took of them. it went off in that tiny room. they were so good!

If You're in LA

I lie in my bed

So almost immediately after posting yesterdays gloom fest I felt like a big pity me ungrateful fool. So in response to that total brat fest I thought I'd post a bunch of things that make me feel good and smile. Even this Sugarcubes song which I've loved for so long, despite it's somewhat intense lyrical narrative structure. Really, Bjork? Really? We'll, if that's how you roll, I guess that's how you roll. I've always liked the colors and the melody and of course her voice, I just pretend it doesn't spin into a gendered knocked up fairy tale. Know no evil, hum no evil. Yay, life! Or Lechaim, as my Hanukkah homies say.



Cathy and I and a couple other peeps met up at Barragans in Echo park for drinks. This is me and my hiena.

My thesis class got together at our professors house, the great Matias Viegener for an end of semester potluck and it was one of the nicest times I've had at school yet. I really really lucked out with my class. I feel closer and more connected to everybody's work. We have forged a community. Ahh, school, you've done me well.
Pretty lady Saehee took these, of course, she's not in them!

All with the Morrissey lyrics and all-

So I've been feeling rather emo today, yes I said it. Whatever. It's been sort of gloomy. I saw Sam and Saehee at school and that was nice, my class had it's final session and all my students seemed relived to be on their Holiday way. Sometimes our heads get too big, sometimes we get busy, sometimes we get lazy. But, I hurt someone I love very much recently and it's been hanging on me like a dingy poo on my cats butt. I can't shake it. I tried to apologize but no matter what I say, I was wrong and deserve to stew in my own shittyness. I've been sort of lame to a couple other people in my life as well.
Also, another close friend of mine is in Europe and we parted on a funny note, not bad, just funny, and I missed her so terribly today I felt like crying. I wanted to look at fashion blogs on her iphone or share a cup of tea. I hope you are well and having fun. I know you're going to have a terrific time. I got dressed up tonight in a fashiony outfit and took photos on my mac book for you. I wish you were here.
I felt sort of fugs and yucks all day, being a semi half way decent looking girl doesn't mean you don't feel insecure, obviously, but actually, sometimes it leads to an insane amount of vanity and insecurity, which is maddening and embarrassing all at the same time. I read a blog today that I hate, the kind of thing I read alot when I was in high school. Before we met, I was body obsessed, face obsessed, completely living in a state of physical paranoia. I am glad I'm not like that anymore, all the time. But some things are hard to shake. I wish sometimes I could be a better person.

:(

I will remember you the way you were, a shiny beacon of light, calling from some innermost place where everything I felt mattered and your life was a breathing example of determination over strength.
Find your violet Courtney, try try try to get the train back on the track. You're too important to loose to them.

Happy Happy!

Cathy, Kate and Brad had a joint B-day, it was aweeesssome nicetimegoodfun. All three stars on a map.