How cool would it be if Justin WAS the father?!
How much more exciting would the world get if Christopher Walken actually did it?
I am better than my best self ten years ago, and that's still not saying much. I am lazy and filled with fear and stuff. Procrastination creeps in on every corner, debilitating me from every angle. I get it done but it takes the involuntary flexing of each toe a thousand times an hour, the stranglehold of my own fist by the other, the biting, gnawing and chewing of my inside cheek until the metallic taste of spoons mingles with my spit. I will stuff it in my mouth, I will heat it up, spit it out, lean down on my one bum knee that is spongy and numb until it is not and then it's a violent searing pain of a thousand needles racing toward my shoulder blade, and puke it out. It's teeth grinding in the middle of the night and two hour stare-a-thons at my blank TV wishing I had invested in the free box. It's checking e-mail, creating user ID's, baking cookies, making chili, taking holiday portraits of the cats. The closer it gets the tighter I wind. My mom was a long distance runner, marathon winner, athletic get up at six in the morning obsessive compulsive make sure the ovens off weirdo. Now she drinks champagne in the morning and walks on the treadmill while eating dinner. I can unflex this muscle all day long but I know it will get done. Don't ask me to do anything in the meantime, I'm paralyzed and not so much the good person you're hoping for.
Here is some delightful internet gristle.
Blog highlight: Video Deathray has taken an exciting new direction and it's being taken there by the wonderful Nicholas J. Katzban. Don't you wish you knew what the J stood for? Clicka me and and me for the first two. If you like this Ahnold commentary you will like Deathray.
My sister got married and we stopped in Joshua Tree on the way back. Oh sunset, oh underwater wasteland, beautiful mountains turned to a fine thin powder, you entrance me so.
Monkey suits.
My sister and her maidens. True story, the first time i ever went bra shopping I was 11 and with my mom at Macy's. We were in the dressing room and she was trying to harness me in. A sales girl came by and asked if she could get us anything else from the floor. I was trying on a Maidenform bra and needed a size up except I got the name of the bra confused and responded, "Yeah, I need a new Maidenhead."
The portraits in question.
