Thursday, June 7, 2012

I Was A Willow Last Night In My Dream: Fire Walk With Me

Dearest friends and loyal readers for whom I know there are still a few - that stat counter never ceases to amaze me!- As it has become abundantly clear I have been a sporadic, at best, blogger over the past year. I tried in vain to keep this going but after six years I think it's time to bid adiu. I probs spelled adiu wrong, but whatevs, but not whatevs. I live in a world now where autocorrect has taken my slanguage and corrected it without asking and correcting it back seems to take more time than just letting autocorrect do it's thing- which honestly is kind of hilarious and at times weirdly sexual, apple people why does everything autocorrect into filth?- so that it actually ends up taking more time to fight against the grain than it does to go with the flow. I have spent the past 32 years doing it as that old dead horse of a song says, My Way, truth be told my way has often not been the smoothest or wisest course of action. Last night while watching a horrible Sandra Bullock movie on Netflix, her character a funny alcoholic forced into rehab is asked by my boyfriend Steve Buschemi, whose playing a drug councilor, Do you deflect everything serious with humor? Sandra had some thinking to do. Well, I've done thinking and I've done work and I've done work and I've done work and I've done work and I've done work and I've made some tough choices this year. I think though they are all in line with me clearing my true path to greatness. That's right I said GREATNESS. I'm through fighting. I'm getting out of my own way, I'm not listening to the inner voices anymore. I'm taking my dragons burning my way out of Quarth and heading straight for Kings Landing. Anyone who says I can't I say, FUCK YOU. And I guess those will be my final parting thoughts: You can to. Grab your dragons and as the great Joseph Campbell said: Follow your bliss. You can do it. We all can. We each have our own purpose and light. Let's put King Joffrey's head on a stake, send that bitch Stannis packing, throw Arya on our dragon's back and DO THIS THING. You can make out with Jon Snow and Robb Stark and pity screw Theon Greyjoy before you do though, that's allowed. I am writing a novel, a book of short stories/creative non fiction essays, and a screenplay. I need to put all my efforts into those things and really follow through and quit distracting myself with smaller time consuming projects. I am a firm believer in verbally articulating goals. This blog has been the most fun fun thing for so long and I've changed and grown so much in the past six years. When I started I honestly just wanted to make my own version of Amy Kellner's amazing now dead blog Teenage Unicorn, which I read obsessively on my bed in Williamsburg Brooklyn while looking outside my window at the projects across the street. This blog has also brought me one of my greatest professional achievements yet, the 2010 Best Music Writing for which I will be forever grateful. In line with that it has also put me in contact with strong amazing women like Ann Powers who I feel so blessed to know, and Daphne Carr whose advice and kindness has helped me more than I could ever say in the past two years. Both were gifts of just getting myself out there on the interwebs and saying what's on my mind. Writing for you has been an honor and a blast. Thanks for letting me share my life, however inane it might have seemed at times. I am a feminist, womanist, transcendentalist, universalist unitarian. I believe in love, the universe, Henry David Thorou, Elizabeth Taylor, Gloria Anzaldua and Rudolph Steiner. I believe in people. And I believe in you.