Saturday, August 30, 2008

What we've got here, is a failure to communicate

Dear Sarah Palin, way to be the minority that joins the KKK.
Way to come out and talk about your husband for 10 hours, way to chat up the war,
Dear John Maccain. Double Fuck You! As if I didn't have enough reasons to find you smelly and bile filled. Fuck you for using Sarah Palin as a pawn, way to use a hard working albeit confused woman in your fight to capitalize on an actual movement, way to try and steal the women's vote away from the progress that has been made in the last 8 months. Not because women's rights mean shit to you but because you you noticed that it means something to a few million women, way to be a big time faker, you fake FUCK!
Maybe I haven't made myself clear, but I'm on team Obama now. Any ladies that read my blog, don't be deceived. Don't let any substitutes stand in for the real thing. No matter what you thought/think of Hillary Clinton, she's devoted her life to helping women and children. Feminists for life (Palin's famous hate mongering organization) has devoted itself to shaming and terrorizing doctors and women. For the love of Geraldine Ferraro, a TRUE pioneer, don't vote for this woman. On a side note, congratulations Sarah Palin, no matter how sick you make me, it's cool that McCain actually thinks having you there will help him. That at least, is progress.

I'm done. Rant over.

Sunday, August 24, 2008


I forgot one man for this years celebration of Sausage Fest. (see previous post)

Treat Williams, but ONLY in this movie in THIS clip. The end of Hair always makes me cry, like ball uncontrollably. My dad was in Nam (for total fucking real) and I grew up hearing about it in sad graphic detail ( he was one of the first dudes in veterans against vietnam, also totally cool and true).

Treat is a sexy beast only this one time.

And then God Created Men

Contrary to what it looks like on my blog, I don't hate men, in fact it's the opposite, I love, dream, objectify them. Anyway, I've had enough with the doom in gloom of late and have decided to post this years annual sausage fest.
sausage fest is basically a celebration of all the men I am currently fixated on or think r beautiful (inside and out, of course! mostly out). Last year's celebrated Lester Bangs, Cat Stevens, Chris Cornell, Marlon Brando, Chevy, some guy I was fucking, and Elvis. Actually, minus GIWF, that's sort of my all time dream hit list. Anyhoo, enough typing, behold 2008's sausage fest winners.

The sexy meat stick known as Anthony Boudain, everything about him is right. Even this picture, is puuuuurfect, a wise asshole once said, "Hi, I'm Anthony Bourdain and this is NOooooooooooooo Reservations."

If I was a man, I would want to be this man. MEATLOAF. IS. GOD

I've actually always had a huge crush on Steve Martin but just realized today that I've never given ample credit. I actually have a giant picture of him hanging in my house. Honest. Dentist Song, The Muppet Movie grouchy waiter, Wild N Crazy Guy, King Tut, I was born a poor black boy, Dude, CAT HANDCUFFS! Nuff Said.

So Paul Newman is sort a no duh, and this is kind of an iconic image but I don't care. He might not be with us much longer and that makes me seriously sad. For real. A world without Paul new man in it is a little bit worse for the ware.

Take a good look James Frey, nice try Chuck Palajoke You WISH Tucker Max. The original misogynist monster. There is only ONE Bret Easton Ellis. Too bad they don't get it. The work of a true moralist. The first Wall-E.

Dude, I've had a bone for Robert Downey Jr. since I was like, 5. Seriously i saw him in Weird Science and was hooked. He is a badass. A beautiful beautiful badass. I know everyone loves Johnny Depp, and don't get me wrong, he's also a fine piece of man, but something about RDJ just rubs me the right way.

Screw u Peaches, did you star as Pink in the Wall, did you organize fucking LIVE AID? No, I didn't think so. Yes please Sir Bob.

I've always been a sucker for a fucked up man. i believe the song following this one is mother?.... oi.

Yes, that is a picture of James Franco. Shut the eff up. He was in Frekas n Geeks, played James Dean in the worlds best biopic EVER, and he's starting grad school for writing at NYU in like, a week. I'm starting writing school in a week too! At Cal Arts, but still. Do you think we might meet and like, exchange ideas and fall in love and write movies together and be bf gf?.....A girl can dream.

Also, yeah, I know, I have a type blah blah blah. dark curly hair, I know, blah blah. I like dudes that look like pretty versions of me. The end.
Also also, there is one more guy whose face I could not put on the list because that would be stalky and weird, but lets just say he owns a comic book store on Metropolitan off the Lorimer stop and that I LOVE him. I mean, I don't really love him. But I want to touch him. Yay, men!

Friday, August 22, 2008

is a white man.

and the patriarchy continues.
i know i should be happy, but my hearts just not in it.

sometimes i feel like a very small thing living in the only cave without an echo.

who speaks for me? i guess only i do.

sorry for the recent debbi downers.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Dance on Kate Bush with your crazy self

This is the shit that makes me sad.

"A sobering reminder. . .the right to vote was not easily won.

The women were innocent and defenseless. And by the end of the Night, they were barely alive. Forty prison guards wielding clubs and their warden's blessing went on a rampage against the 33 helpless women wrongly convicted of "obstructing sidewalk traffic." They beat Lucy Burn, chained her hands to the cell bars above her head and left her hanging for the night, bleeding and gasping for air. They hurled Dora Lewis into a dark cell, smashed her head against an iron bed and knocked her out cold. Her cellmate, Alice Cosu, thought Lewis was dead and suffered a heart attack. Additional affidavits describe the guards grabbing, dragging, beating, choking, slamming, pinching, twisting and kicking the women. Thus unfolded the "Night of Terror" on Nov. 15, 1917, when the warden at the Occoquan Workhouse in Virginia (USA) ordered his guards to teach a lesson to the suffragists imprisoned there because they dared to picket Woodrow Wilson's White House for the right to vote. For weeks, the women's only water came from an open pail. Their food--all of it colorless slop--was infested with worms. When one of the leaders, Alice Paul, embarked on a hunger strike, they tied her to a chair, forced a tube down her throat and poured liquid into her until she vomited. She was tortured like this for weeks until word was smuggled out to the press."

The 19th Amendment was ratified in 1920, allowing women the right to vote. My grandmother was born in 1926. The United States was unionized July 4th 1776.

My great Grandmother is Elizabeth Cady Stanton. Recently a reporter in the New Yorker smugly reported why people disliked Hillary Clinton saying, "most people just cant make the connection between death and women's rights. I mean, no one died for women's rights like say, Martin Luther King". I was so incensed with anger. I would like to see him walk up to Benazir Bhutto's 19 year old son and say that to his face. Because women dying has never been what the powers that be are waiting for. They die ever day in the streets and in their homes. By people ho love them and strangers, simply for being women. I would like to see him walk into an illegal sex ring in Eastern Europe or Thailand and say that to the women and children of the world. Women's rights and the suffering of women is not an "American" problem. It's a human dilemma. Women's rights are human rights.

Working on this book has been awesome. Today I learned that in 1978 Kate Bush became the first women to make the charts in England with a song that was SELF written. It was Wuthering Heights. Wonderful, and yet, somehow still melancholy. Sexism doesn't see race, it doesn't see class. It effects everyone on this great big green earth. Maybe do one thing today differently. Don't make that stupid tasteless joke, even if you think it's funny, look at the larger picture, our actions have consequences. Lets all be a little kinder and responsible, even if you don't see how it makes the difference to someone suffering so far away, believe me, it does.

Monday, August 18, 2008

I Love Lucy part deux

Wow, I think I know what I'm naming my next cat. This ones a little longer but worth it, I swear. Seriously though, Lucy is my hero.

And while were at it, I'm taking a vote, I've narrowed my Halloween choices down to two costumes, the glorious Lucy Van Pelt from above and Tootsie Pop Owl. Here's a clip to jog your memories. Although I must say, I think my mind is made.

Saturday, August 16, 2008


So I know what you've been wanting for Titmas (thats what my awesome homies from San Antone Heew Haw and Cathy DeLaCruz call it), a link to everything I've written in the last year! Yee Haw! there it is Darlin's. Except for the first link, I have nothing to do with the Foo Fighter article, my actual name is in the review because of that awful Price cover of Darling Nikki they did. But every interview and every Live From New York is at your trembling fingertips!

Oh and just for fun, here's a link to the Wanda Jackson interview I did that Wanda put on her OFFICIAL FUCKING WEBSITE! I've died and gone to Rockabilly heaven. Once a rockabilly hoodrat, always a rockabilly hoodrat.

PS Youre going to have to cut n copy those links because technology hates me
1996 Baby!

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Life's a bitch now so am I

I OD on Mr. Bungle-isms today at work. All good things lead back to Selina Kyle.

Sunday, August 10, 2008


This shit is so amazing I almost had a heart attack watching it. Can imagine what it must of felt like to be there in the theater? Freaky sweaty and going insane?

Friday, August 8, 2008

There go I for the grace of you

From whence I came to you I go. Seriously, she discovered me. Fo reals.

There go us for the grace of them

So anyone that knows me knows that basically I'm a flamy queen trapped inside a straight girls body-I'm also a dirty nut scratching stoner from the 1970's- but thats a different story-
Growing up with a single mom I was able to spend many long afternoons alone with the television, and happily so, watching re-runs of TV past- nary an episode of Gilligan, Golden Girls, Family Ties, Facts of Life, Twilight Zone or any other show escape my obsessive focus, one however transcended all and not only was the first show I remember laughing so hard that I cried and almost peed myself at the same time to, but also laid the foundation for many of the things I still love and have an interest in, in fact some of them have become the bedrock of my educational pursuits- Feminism, Fashion, "Real" Hollywood (as a subject also explored on the show, Music, the bond of female friendship and last but not least and most importantly, humor- the ability to laugh at ones self and at society as a whole- Yes, I Love Lucy was so much more than a funny show, it was groundbreaking, and all those things are not even taking into account what it did for people of color as a visible non threatening presence in the media, behind and in front of the camera. Lucille Ball, like Iggy Pop and many other absurdly famous celebrities are so overrated and loved that as a result become underrated. The weight and validity of her intelligence and foresight into the future is hugely missed by a line of chocolate Bon Bon's running down a conveyor belt. Granted that shit is pretty funny, but there was so much more going on than just some hearty yuks (the episode in which they rip the fashion industry is a masterpiece!). And perhaps that was the genius of Lucille Ball, she planted those seeds without us even knowing she was wearing gardeners gloves. That is real change, the kind that matters.
But alas this post is not solely bout' Lucy, but rather about Ethel Mertz, thats right, as the mother of that young child in front of the TV, my mom noticed that I, yes, loved Lucy. And wouldn't you know, she did too. It was something we still share. Moms favorite lady however was not Lucy but Vivian Vance, who she spoke of with the sort of awe and admiration she used when speaking of Eleanor Roosevelt, Pyramids, Architecture, landscaping and Disneyland. To her Ethel was IT, the glue, the piece that made the whole thing stay together. She was the underdog, the true unsung hero of I Love Lucy- and because of this intense scrutiny I also inherited a deep love for Vivian Vance- and underdogs and unsung heroes of all walks of life. In truth, I've always sort of despised the winner, I don't want to party with the winner, I want to have coffee and conversation with the runner up, imagine the things they have to say, and imagine the fight they have to keep going. Infinitely more complex and fascinating. The winner is always smiling, but the runner up is walking uphill blind, the sun always in their eyes.
This post is for Ethel Mertz. (I threw in some Lucy for good measure too!)

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Monday, August 4, 2008

And then and then and then!

Don't cry for me, the truth is I never left you.

Saturday, August 2, 2008

I love High School girls, I keep gettin older and they stay the same age!

Praise Jeebus! HeeHaw is in LA!
We've already gone to Magic Mt. Where I won a trip to Aruba IM NOT JOKING I WON A FREE VACATION GETAWAY TO THE BAHAMAS!
And beaches aplenty

In the words of the wise sage Matthew Mcaunghey, "Keep on truckin and be cool."
Drink a cold one for me.