Sunday, August 24, 2008

And then God Created Men

Contrary to what it looks like on my blog, I don't hate men, in fact it's the opposite, I love, dream, objectify them. Anyway, I've had enough with the doom in gloom of late and have decided to post this years annual sausage fest.
sausage fest is basically a celebration of all the men I am currently fixated on or think r beautiful (inside and out, of course! mostly out). Last year's celebrated Lester Bangs, Cat Stevens, Chris Cornell, Marlon Brando, Chevy, some guy I was fucking, and Elvis. Actually, minus GIWF, that's sort of my all time dream hit list. Anyhoo, enough typing, behold 2008's sausage fest winners.

The sexy meat stick known as Anthony Boudain, everything about him is right. Even this picture, is puuuuurfect, a wise asshole once said, "Hi, I'm Anthony Bourdain and this is NOooooooooooooo Reservations."

If I was a man, I would want to be this man. MEATLOAF. IS. GOD

I've actually always had a huge crush on Steve Martin but just realized today that I've never given ample credit. I actually have a giant picture of him hanging in my house. Honest. Dentist Song, The Muppet Movie grouchy waiter, Wild N Crazy Guy, King Tut, I was born a poor black boy, Dude, CAT HANDCUFFS! Nuff Said.

So Paul Newman is sort a no duh, and this is kind of an iconic image but I don't care. He might not be with us much longer and that makes me seriously sad. For real. A world without Paul new man in it is a little bit worse for the ware.

Take a good look James Frey, nice try Chuck Palajoke You WISH Tucker Max. The original misogynist monster. There is only ONE Bret Easton Ellis. Too bad they don't get it. The work of a true moralist. The first Wall-E.

Dude, I've had a bone for Robert Downey Jr. since I was like, 5. Seriously i saw him in Weird Science and was hooked. He is a badass. A beautiful beautiful badass. I know everyone loves Johnny Depp, and don't get me wrong, he's also a fine piece of man, but something about RDJ just rubs me the right way.

Screw u Peaches, did you star as Pink in the Wall, did you organize fucking LIVE AID? No, I didn't think so. Yes please Sir Bob.

I've always been a sucker for a fucked up man. i believe the song following this one is mother?.... oi.

Yes, that is a picture of James Franco. Shut the eff up. He was in Frekas n Geeks, played James Dean in the worlds best biopic EVER, and he's starting grad school for writing at NYU in like, a week. I'm starting writing school in a week too! At Cal Arts, but still. Do you think we might meet and like, exchange ideas and fall in love and write movies together and be bf gf?.....A girl can dream.

Also, yeah, I know, I have a type blah blah blah. dark curly hair, I know, blah blah. I like dudes that look like pretty versions of me. The end.
Also also, there is one more guy whose face I could not put on the list because that would be stalky and weird, but lets just say he owns a comic book store on Metropolitan off the Lorimer stop and that I LOVE him. I mean, I don't really love him. But I want to touch him. Yay, men!