OMG CAN YOU BELIEVE IT HOLY CANOLI ITS THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN!!! That's right, it's sausage fest. That inane tradition I insist on keeping alive despite the fact that probably no one reads it. Actually I have stat counter now you little devils and I know that a lot of you do! Which continually surprises me. In any event, to visit past sausages click here (2010) and here (2009) and here (2008) and here here (2007). Well without further adieu, let us begin with this years Fiesta De La Sausage! Enjoy!
John Cameron Mitchell!
Look at this adorable face. I want to eat it.
I can quite honestly tell you that if I had been at the above concert and seen that performance I would have died or fainted or been sobbing so uncontrollably that people would have thought it was 1964 and I was watching the Beatles. That is how much this clip blows my mind. In fact as I was watching it just now it made me cry again. It gets wacky ridiculous at the two minuet mark.
This year's first honorary sausage goes to John Cameron Mitchell. A true story: I don't get star struck, I get goofy or excited if I see a sort of famousy person I really admire- I usually just make a fool out of myself and say something embarrassing, but I very rarely am so struck by someone, so afraid of them based solely on who they are as an artist that I tremble with fear at ever having to meet them. John Cameron Mitchell is one of the few I feel this way about. Last year at Workspace he came to an event and I was so frightened of him that I just left. Daniel laughed and tried to get me to talk to Mr. Mitchel but it was all too much and I got very serious and ran away, I think in turn sort of freaking or weirding Daniel out. Anyway, JCM's voice is one of the most heavenly sounds on earth- I could listen to it every day, it's powerful and confident yet reassuring and warm- and Hedwig is one of the most beautiful films I have ever seen. I sat in the theatre and balled my eyes out. I thought, if there's a man out there that can write this most thoughtful story about the universal human condition then art has a purpose. Dork! Party of me, it's true, but really this retired theatre nerd misfit fell in love. Truly, honestly, I feel sort of weird even making him a sausage. He is such a truly beautiful human. Check out my 'poopy day' link in the blogroll. Another true story: I once took a package to Cyndi Lauper at her home in Los Feliz and I couldn't look her in the eyes.
Donald Glover is liquid sexy. Actually he's the holy trifecta: smart, supper funny and hot. He was a writer on the three funniest seasons of 30 Rock and won an Emmy for the Funcooker episode. He left the show though to do Community. Maybe the best show on TV. If you haven't seen it yet all I have to say is this: Paintball. Watch it and you shall understand. Anyway, the entire cast is littered with the best kind of sexy beasts; the ones with brains and timing. It already stars former sausage and patron saint and protector of the blog, Chevy Chase and our very next sausage who you will be introduced to shortly below. Here's to Donald Glover!
This interview was done right before he started shooting Community and was still just a network writer NYU funny guy nerd. ps, Those dudes were always so annoying and at the Grey Dog coffee shop hogging up all the tables and talking about how they almost got into Yale and where they were going to do standup that weekend and gossiping about Conan O Brian like they knew him. Or old SNL's or how Chris Parnell is underrated or some shiz. They are probably in my estimation the New York equivalent of the Los Angeles struggling actor.
Sweet Delicious Joel Mchale!
I first fell in love with Joel Mchale while I was a nanny in New York around 2005. Often I would get called to evening babysit which basically consisted of eating other people's food and watching their cable on their nice expensive couches. It was on one of these nights that I first discovered The Soup, Mankini, Lou the chihuahua and Clip of the Week. Joel Mchale continues to be one of the sexiest things on two legs and makes each episode of the Soup and now Community, the funniest things on earth. He's almost been a sausage the past two years but always was pushed out by someone else at the last minute. Not this year, this year Joel, your sausage shall shine.
Handsome, stoic Gordon Mcrae!
I've been thinking about Gordon Mcrae a lot lately. One of the characters in my novel is sort of based on him- in part, him the actor in Hollywood, and him his characters in his Rodger's and Hammerstein movies.
Anyway, I always felt there was something kind and understated about him. His voice is also up there with some of my favorite male voices- I was a musical theatre major at my art high school- in the 90's btw and I do not like Glee, so don't ask- Anyway, when I was little my mom was weird and instead of letting me watch current cartoons like a normal kid she bought the entire Rodger's and Hammerstein collection, old 1950's Disney Mickey Mouse cartoons and Little Lulu's and Felix The Cat cartoons. So I blame her mostly for making me an old timey weirdo. Anyway, Gordon was one of my first little kid crushes. Look at his face. Doesn't his face just look warm?
Literary sausages! These two men have had the most influence on my novel aside from Margaret Atwood. I've reread their classics in the last two months trying to dig inside their brains.
Henry David Thoreau
"I have heard of a man lost in the woods and dying of famine and exhaustion at the foot of a tree, whose loneliness was relieved by the grotesque visions with which, owing to bodily weakness, his diseased imagination surrounded him, and which he believed to be real. So also, owing to bodily and mental health and strength, we may be continually cheered by a like but more normal and natural society, and come to know that we are never alone."
The most philosophical of sausages.
The greatest novel ever written about Hollywood:
Getting serious with an actor on set. I can't decide what's cooler about Nathanael West, the persistent myth that he died in a car crash on his way to his good friend F. Scott Fitzgerald's funeral- he did not, he died a few days earlier but it's such a great Hollywood rumor- that he wrote for Hollywood during that brief but splendid period when other writers such as William Faulkner, Fitzgerald and James M. Cain worked there, or that he was a terrific dandy AND slob. I don't know. I love Nathanael West.
Sweet Jebus this man is hot. He's a writer and a director and if you haven't seen the Jane Eyre that came out in 2011 SEE IT! It's the best Jane Eyre ever made and stays true to the book, capturing all the gothic greatness that earlier versions didn't convey. Also his first film Sin Nombre was about Mexican immigrant gang members. Can you say swoon? SO IN LOVE.
this intervierer is pretty dense but he looks hot.
Adorable Diego Luna!
Homeboy is just cute. And I love his movies. Milk, Y Tu Mama Tambien, Mister Lonely.
And rounding out this years sausages, who better than the entire Clash!? You know what guys? I too am so bored with the USA.