Monday, May 24, 2010

A Programming Note

I graduated! I am now a Master!

Dear readers and anyone who has not completely forgotten my blog out of frustration with the complete disarray that i have let it slip into. Let me find a job and I'll be back, one hundred percent.
I'm going through it. Getting older is weiiird. Much weirder than i thought it would be. Thirty is giving me a head fuck, not because I'm afraid of being thirty, I think it's cool. I like getting older, I have found that with every birthday I care less and less what other people think of me and I generally try to just spend time with people I love. So that's nice. But the realization that I'm not really a cool 'girl' anymore is strange. Not that I can't be, I know folks that use that moniker way past their time to use it, but really, I'm not a girl and the experiences of my life don't equal girl. I know there are lots of grown up people much older than myself who still call themselves girl - and without judgement, okay maybe a little- I don't want to still be inside the bar dancing till four in ten years. I love dancing, I love life and I guess, yes, I take that back, I want to still be dancing in the bar at 40 if my friends are there and the music is good. But I want something to go home to. I don't want the night to be my home. I want a career and a family and a nice place to hang my hat. Most of my friends now aren't like this but I was on Facebook being bored and going through old friends albums and this one person had an album of Polaroids from 2003-2007 and it was all the same people i remember from when I was 22 and total dumb butt. I'm glad I went to school got my head straightened out and shook off the Beauty Bar and ran out of the Star Shoes. I'm glad that my friends now are as far away from that as I could imagine.
I want to get a good job and go back for my PHD. I want to be a fucking grownup already. That's whats freaking me out: how freaking ready I am to get on with it already.
Athena's been in town for work and seeing her has been wonderful.